Our Story "Part One"

So here is how it all started. I have been wanting to catalog where our journey through grief and the lessons God has taught us in life began, but it has been too painful. I may not get too far today, but this is a start.

March 2007

Tom and I had the wonderful opportunity to go watch the KU mens basketball team play the first round of the NCAA tournament in Chicago. Since my brother lives there, we stayed with him and his wife and were able to get pretty decent seats close enough to see the faces of the players. For those of you who don't know, Tom and I are huge basketball fans, and we both have been watching KU for a long time.Shortly after that trip, I started to get sick. I thought it was just a flu bug that was going around, but it seemed to last for a really long time. I decided to take a pregnancy test and was in complete shock that it was positive. We were not even really planning to try to have kids until later on. We had one conversation about the fact that maybe we were ready to pursue adding to our family, but didn't think it would happen so quickly.We ended the school year with me still being quite sick and nauseaous, but in good spirits. I was kind of glad that I had the summer to rest and relax.



At that time, I wanted to spend the entire summer getting ready and making sure that everything was perfect for the arrival of a new baby. We decided that Tom would paint the nursery that summer and we would get some clothes and a crib. So that is what we did. I found a really awesome picture of how I wanted the room painted at Lowes or somewhere like that and wanted Tom to do that. He spent an entire weekend taping the walls and painting. It looked so great, just like the picture. I was so proud and excited to put a new baby in that room.


The rest of the summer was spent just traveling and getting ready for the new baby. I have to admit that I was quite obsessed with making sure that everything was just right. It kind of makes me wonder why I felt the need to be that way. I had a couple of appointments that summer, but nothing out of the ordinary.When the summer ended, so did my rest and relaxation.


Back to school I went teaching 3rd grade. I had an appointment a couple of days before school started and didn't think anything about it. One of the first days of school, I got a call from my doctor saying to call at my earliest convenience b/c of some test results. That was the start of where all my worries came from. One of the tests was for birth defects and down's syndrome. This was my first time doing anything like this, so I didn't even know it was an option to not take that test. I worried for 2 weeks and we had to go see a specialist.


This is when I believe that God was maybe preparing me for what was to come ahead.


Stay tuned for part two.

About Us

Hi, my name's Mira . I want to tell you a little about myself and my family. It seems kind of strange to share about myself like this, but here goes. I was born in the big city of Los Angeles, and later moved to the plains of Kansas. I grew up with two younger brothers who taught me a lot about what it means to be tough. I also have some fantastic lifelong friends that I wish I could see more often. You know who you are. I went to a small private Christian college in Olathe, Ks where I studied to be a teacher. Since then I have been teaching various grade levels for the last 9 years.

While spending the summer of 1998 at home, I met my husband Tom and he quickly became my best friend. We both shared a lot in common especially the fact that he too is a teacher. He teaches middle school, for that I think he deserves a lot of credit. We have spent the last almost 9 years traveling to a new state each summer, visiting friends, watching basketball games, and just hanging out.

In March of 2007, after coming back from Chicago where we watched our favorite basketball team (the KU Jayhawks) play, I found out that I pregnant. That was the start of a whole new adventure for us. Little did we know how life-changing that year would be for us. Later on that year, we lost our baby boy, Caden. You can read more under Caden's story. We were devastated and did not know how we were going to get through such a tragic loss.

Back in June of 2008, I became new to the blogging world. A co-worker showed me her blog and mentioned that it might be a great way for me to journal my thoughts and feelings about how I was handling losing our first child. I decided to try it. It was one of the most healing things that I could have done. I was able to put my feelings out there and know that how I was doing and where this journey was taking me was OK. It also gave me a very concrete and real way to honor Caden and show him how much I missed him and still love him and can't wait to see him in heaven one day.

I have been challenged by many things since losing Caden, and my faith in God's goodness has truly been difficult. I still have a hard time understanding why Caden had to die, but ultimately I have surrendered my will to God and have grown knowing that God had other plans for Caden. I would not have made it through the last two years without leaning on my deliverer and my Lord. God stood by my family even when He felt oh so distant. He taught me so much more about his love for me and his amazing grace. I never realized what it meant to lay it ALL down before the Lord, but I know now that the moment of deepest pain, somehow God helped me give my son back to him. I will forever be changed because of Caden's short life.

In 2009, God decided that we were ready for yet another adventure, and I became pregnant with our 2nd child. In October we had a little girl and named her Jaycee. This name came from a song that we used to listen to in college by Carmen. I don't even know if he still makes music, but I thought it was a different and unique name and it has stuck ever since. She has brought a lot of joy back into our lives. She continues to amaze us with what she can do in the short amount of time she has been here. I daily see how God is using her to teach me many lessons about grace, unconditional love, friendship, and compassion. I hope soon to tell her about her big brother who is always watching out for her from heaven.